She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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