You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Green mimosas i think yes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
