Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
