There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
