he thought i was a dude.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
