Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
