no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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