Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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