Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
