No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
