Kiss
Puke
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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