She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
