Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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