Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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