Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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