which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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