but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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