My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
