OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
