You really coming over, don't trick.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
