dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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