i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
