I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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