he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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