Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize