Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
