no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
