i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Boobs are out for the taking
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
