I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize