you mean i was at the winter classic?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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