Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
