I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
