then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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