I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
