My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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