You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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