You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
