I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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