plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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