is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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