he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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