he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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