we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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