oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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