so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
