I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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