I will die if light touches me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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