If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
