Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
