Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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