I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I did not marry a roomba.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
