Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
