Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
