dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize