so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
