Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
