Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
