yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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