1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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